The 3 C’s of an Effective Work Team

It takes hard work and dedication to build a successful work team, yet the results they deliver are worth every ounce of effort. A team may be well-trained in terms of talent and skill set, but if their coordination is off or they lack the necessary “soft skills” of trust, communication, and mutual feedback, even the most highly trained work team can be reduced to dysfunction and squabbling.

For some, the idea of soft skills may seem elusive or abstract. For others, their organization has operated for so long without them, it is hard to conceive of what a high-functioning team might look like. Fortunately, there are three elements that will increase the coordination, performance, and soft skills of any work team. These are the 3 C’s of Confidence, Compassion, and Cohesion.

Compassion in the workplace means to understand a colleague’s pain. Assuming the highest goal of the work team is achieving the organization’s mission, compassion is a natural by-product. When we choose to “suffer with” rather than “compete against” our colleagues, an office culture can completely turn around.  Because workers are no longer working for themselves they can now be coordinated toward achieving optimal results. This is also a re-prioritization of “service of colleagues” over “fulfillment of self” and management must model this behavior as well in order to make it stick. CIA or “Compassion-In-Action” includes appropriate division of the workload, mutual feedback around role performance and improved coordination of tasks.

Cohesion: Team cohesion naturally arises from compassionate employees. Cohesion is built out of TLC, or Trust, Love and Commitment. Trust is the foundation of a cohesive work team. Through completion of common goals and shared experience teams forge bonds of trust with one another. Greater trust will also ensure that our teammates hold each other accountable to tasks, which further increases compassion as employees learn to “suffer with” each other. Love refers to the level of passion for the work they do and for the team. Passion is an irreplaceable fuel that drives success in any business and this potential must be harnessed for the team. Commitment refers to their level of commitment to the goal as well as to each other.

Confidence: There are two types of confidence. The first is mastery over a particular skill that that is gained through practice and experience. The second is a form of inner confidence that we know we are capable of adapting and doing whatever it takes to succeed in the moment. This sense of knowing includes an ability to face our shortcomings and see them not as failures, but as opportunities to learn, change, and grow. Inner confidence is simply our ability to fall and fall and keep getting up again until whatever task we set out to do is mastered.

Confidence also links back to cohesion. As trust is gained we grow more confident in our teammates and vice versa. Compassion is further fueled by confidence. As we begin to see the results and feel the power of a cohesive team, we become more committed to each other and this increases our confidence.

The 3 C’s allow a team to function optimally without the common maladaptive behaviors such as gossip, competitiveness, and stabbing each other in the back. Through common goals in times of crisis the bonds of teamwork are forged and the increasing soft skills bring about the missing elements of a high functioning work team. .

Research abundantly shows that teambuilding improves organizational performance by almost 20%. The 3 C’s are part of every team’s natural potential and they can be harnessed through the right leadership. Cultivating the 3 C’s is part of the work I do in my coaching program and I invite you to contact me if you want to learn more.

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Dealing with Difficult People

We all have at least one difficult person in our lives. Whether it is a co-worker, neighbor, relative or our own spouse, somewhere out there is that special someone who knows how to push our buttons, sabotage our plans and drive us so crazy we sometimes feel like punching the wall. And we have tried everything to work things out but the situation feels hopeless….So now what?

This article is about all the difficult people in our lives and all the drama, conflict and hard lessons they bring to us. But this article is not about how we can stand up to them more, or some secret formula to transform or change them in anyway because…and I hate to be the one to tell you this: we can’t! And they are probably never going to change or suddenly become nicer or a better listener in any way…

I know this is a harsh lesson but the very notion that we can change somebody is false- and believe me as a professional coach I have learned this lesson more deeply than most people ever will. It is also egotistical because it presupposes that we know what is best for them- and in truth the only one that truly knows that is them, and right now that means being difficult.

People generally only change under three conditions:

  • They are ready
  • They are willing
  • They have something to gain

This may sound negative or pessimistic, but it is actually a highly effective strategy for working with others and for managing difficult people. When we begin to understand what is truly motivating them and we are relating to them through an attitude that respects their needs, beliefs and ideas, we can actually begin to build a bridge with even the most difficult people.

Another reason we can not change a difficult person is because we are LIKE them. I am not saying we all are difficult people per say, but there are certain assumptions people operate under that make their lives more difficult and more likely to clash with other difficult people rather than relating to them in an effective or harmonious way.

The number one assumption we have that is holding us back is the judgment that the other person is difficult and that they need to change the way they are. If I may so gently point out: this belief is arrogant. The difficult person may be difficult, but they are often content with the way they are and simply going through life fighting strongly for what they believe in. This is how they learned to navigate life’s obstacles and it is their survival mechanism. Who are we to say that it is not the right way for them to be?

In actuality it is WE who need to change around them and fortunately this is where the greatest power and potential lies. Changing our behavior or beliefs is something we have direct control over right now. As I pointed out earlier, changing someone else is futile and the difficult person may be completely content with the way things are. If we want change to occur, then the level that can happen on most easily is within ourselves.

How does this work? There is a basic fact that we all forget as we go about our busy lives that people around us are more alike than different- and this is why we clash. We all need certain fundamentals: food, clothing, shelter, security, companionship, and so on through the hierarchy of needs. The majority of conflicts in the world occur on the levels of communication and external behavior used to secure these fundamentals. If we could simply remember that underneath we all want the same thing, and begin to apply some basic strategies, we might actually notice how harmonious our ideas and behaviors can be, even when dealing with difficult people:

Figure out what they want and what is driving them: Approach, then ask and listen. Listen some more. Figure out a way you can both get what you want through some plan or reasonable compromise. If they are being difficult you will likely have to do most of the creative thinking, but this is much easier than trying to convince them you are right or trying to change their minds.

Figure out exactly how they want to be treated: Many times difficult people are operating under a net trauma of oppression, being marginalized, criticized or having their creativity stepped on by bosses, family members etc. They too want love, compassion, respect and sincerity much like the rest of us and the deficiency they have lived with for so long is what has caused them to be difficult and overly- aggressive about their ideas and needs. Remember this is only their survival mechanism.

Become their friend: Keep your friend’s close but your enemies closer. Once you get them on your side you may find a powerful ally or in the least a functional partner. Building a language of communication with the difficult person is key to avoiding future conflicts. If they are too difficult or require too much energy, leadership or maintenance, you may require some professional assistance from a coach or mentor on how to take a stand or redefine the relationship.

See difficult people as a gift or ally: Take the opportunity to reflect on the darker parts of yourself. Negative people reveal to us where we are inflexible. Often times they share a similar unhealthy trait (with the volume knob turned way up) that we find unlikeable about ourselves, and this is the very quality we are so blatantly judging in them!!! The difficult person can be a powerful mirror into our own psyche and if we learn to accept those difficult parts of ourselves it will help neutralize the irritation we experience with the difficult person.

Always stand up for yourself: Never let a difficult person walk all over you! I know I just said to be more compassionate, but all things require balance and you are doing just as much harm to the world by letting yourself be trampled as by starting a conflict with a difficult person. The most important thing here is following an effective strategy to reach the highest potential of any friendship, marriage or organization. If you are stuck or feel overwhelmed by the difficult people in your lives, this may be your opportunity to work with a professional conflict coach, so don’t hesitate to reach out.

Unshakeable Self-Confidence – Part 1

Attaining Limitless Confidence

Wouldn’t it be great to embody a feeling of unshakeable self-confidence? Wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful to have a powerful and limitless sense of self that you are capable of anything? If that sounds good to I invite you to join me on this incredible journey of attaining limitless confidence!

At one time or another we have all faced challenging situations that shook us to the core. Some of us, depending on our lot in life, may even face these obstacles on a daily basis. But not one among us is completely immune to stress- and whether we are discussing love life, work life, public speaking engagements, playing sports, or building a small business we all could use some additional accessible self-confidence at some time or another to overcome these various life stressors.

This is multi-part blog series on the nature of confidence. We are going to examine the different types of confidence, their core components, and how they arise and ebb and flow throughout our lives. We are also going to discuss how to attain limitless confidence, how to access confidence when you need it most and how to transform ourselves into highly confident individuals. With this series, I aim in inspire you to become a more confident and authentic person. I also plan to deliver some valuable tools for to continue your journey into confidence and offer any further guidance I can along the way.

Part 1:

Internal vs. External Confidence

First off, confidence is both a natural and learned state of being. There are two basic types: external and internal, and though related, both are uniquely useful and cultivated in a different manner.

Our external confidence is a feeling of confidence based on merit and the results of our actions; external results “prove” we are capable of doing something. Seeing is believing and accomplishing what we set out to do reinforces our internal sense of confidence; that we are capable of doing a specific as well as similar tasks.

Internal confidence is a sort of “inner faith” and sense of knowing that one is powerful, capable and has unique abilities that will help us “figure things out” when faced with uncertainty. This type of confidence exists when one truly knows oneself and is aware of our own authentic needs, values and abilities.

Internal confidence is also our birthright. If you think about it, a baby knows when it is hungry, tired or upset and is not afraid to express itself. This natural alignment with inherent wants and needs is a sort of confidence in itself. Knowing what you want and need is a powerful first step because it brings a sense of clarity and all that comes next is striving to achieve it. If the baby is hungry or tired it demands that need to be met through crying. In this way we are born confident in our ability to know what we need and to ask for it.

Confidence that relies on external proof contains one minor flaw as it requires external validation to exist. If we are constantly relying on external proof to show us we are capable, then we are almost literally putting the cart before the horse and we will never have the power to take action in the face of uncertainty.

On the other end, internal confidence is powerful, adaptable and only limited to the extent that one “self-predicts.” If one has this deep sense of inner faith, one will be much more likely to accomplish tasks in the face of uncertainty. Its weakness if anything is that it is an abstract and undirected form of confidence, and if left unbridled could potentially become reckless and allow us to strive for unrealistic goals.

The merit-based external confidence is also highly useful. Once we have accomplished something or overcome a particular challenge, the result is hard evidence and one feels confident the task can be repeated. This type of confidence can be further applied to similar tasks and obstacles. The manner in which this confidence builds is therefore quite logical. It is almost the equivalent of a job resume where one skill set translates to another and you are interviewing yourself for the job.

The internal confidence has a certain audacity. It is quite bold and despite the uncertainty it supplies you with enough patience and perseverance to complete the job. It is also the confidence of a daredevil or risk-taker. It is quite fierce and powerful and can make us effective in situations involving thinking on your feet, public speaking to strangers, learning new tasks and entering new situations unprepared.

This type of confidence can access a certain spiritual level where one feels faith that the answers will be discovered and the right tools or teachers will just somehow arrive to help us figure it out as we go.

A little of this inner power goes along way and when enslaved by the ego one can become over-confident. The truth of this confidence is greater than ourselves and extends beyond us through faith. Where one believes that one is powerful and that they are the one doing it all by themselves, that is where we get into trouble. This confidence usually arrives as an invitation from the universe rather than a forceful or aggressive confidence that is muscled through by the ego.

This type of confidence arises from the higher self or the core being. It is an authentic birthright that lies inside each of us. Therefore, when confidence is not present it is simply obscured and awaiting rediscovery. The way we “unlearned” confidence was through the trauma we experienced in life and our “upbringing” where we are taught to think and be logical and that we can or cannot and should or should not do certain things. For example, the negative belief that women can’t be scientists and men can’t be nurturing and emotional.

In later entries we are going to talk about how to unwind all this type of trauma and negativity that obscures self-confidence and help you attain powerful, unshakeable and limitless self-confidence which is your birthright. Fortunately, the process is quite simple as it is the same as every other path of self growth where giant leaps forward are made simultaneously in each area of your life!

Reflection Points:

Internal and External Confidence are symbiotic and can reinforce each other. Use the power you feel in one area to enhance the feeling of confidence in areas you feel less confident.

To do so, contemplate and journal on the following ideas:

  1. What have you accomplished in your life that makes you feel proud or confident?
  2. Where are the places you currently struggle with confidence in your life?
  3. In what ways are the current struggles similar to the tasks you had accomplished in the past?
  4. What can you begin doing now to build confidence in those current struggle areas?

 

The Power of Choice

The ultimate power we hold in this world lies within our power of choice. No other power exists that can shape our destiny, create our reality and influence the people in our lives like the choices we make. In fact, we hold no other apparatus of control in our lives other than our choice-making in all worldly matters.

Our power of choice is shaped and implemented through our thoughts, feelings and actions. No one can control what you think. Even if on the surface you comply and behave according to what someone else wants, the true freedom to think for yourself always exists within the realm of the mind. Thinking can be influenced by the outside world if we let it, but in the end we always have the choice whether to belief in something or not.

Often forgotten or unrealized, the same choice is true for human emotions. Though we might convince ourselves or even convey in our language that some has “made us angry” or “insulted us” it is always our personal choice to respond that way- though often an unconscious one. Our past experiences, successes and failures; the ways we’ve chosen to adapt, react and respond to challenges in life and the result we’ve achieved have all shaped our emotional response to the present.

Emotional responses are thus subjective and in many ways predetermined by the learned reactions of the individual. For example, some people react to stress with excitement, others with fear. For some, an insult makes us angry. Others are deeply hurt and others shrug it off. How you respond today all stems from how you adapted to challenges in the past, and that is your unique personal history.

Two important conclusions arise here. First, no one is “making us angry.” This is our “chosen” or programmed response pattern to a certain stimulus. Second, feelings are based on our perceptions of the moment and are therefore changeable. No one can control how you feel or react to any given situation except you and how long you choose to keep following your adapted response. When we make statements like “you make me angry ,” we give our power of choice away. It also unfairly places responsibility for our emotional reactions on others.

Actions and how we respond are the most powerful choices one can make and also lie in the control of the individual more than we think. Actions that are in step with your character and aligned and consistent with your values are the most powerful. These speak integrity and are felt by others both in personal relationships and in business. The power of “walking your talk” is incredible and useful. It’s consistency builds rapport and trust in others. Also, how powerful would it be to next time someone insults you to react with sympathy and compassion rather than biting their head off?  How you respond can influence the behavior of others and thus control what arises in any situation.

Our present state of wealth and/or happiness are also a result of the commitments and course of action we have chosen in our lives. Had you made different choices, you would have gone down a completely different road, found a different career, connected with different people and become an entirely different person inside and out. Common sense says that if you don’t like your lot in life, then make some new choices. You are not a victim of your circumstances nor are you stuck where you think you are…

We might think we are stuck or limited in our choices at various times in our lives, but the truth is there are a myriad of choices not yet considered and one might be the solution to our dilemma. Our mind frozen in fear perceives limitation and inhibits taking any action, while any opportunity remains hidden. Next time you are in a rut, I challenge you to stop, breath and look for the openings. The choices may be small, even difficult or undesirable at first, but they are in there. Any dilemma no matter how insurmountable it seems has set of choices that can lead you back to prosperity.

Certainly choosing to change must be done practically and in a timely manner, but plenty of people with kids and all sorts of problems that are bigger than yours have slowly begun to make new choices and shift their reality into something they can live with. The key difference is they began to see their power of choice and then chose to use it.

When you have realized you do have a choice you have taken your power back and brought your awareness to the next level. Previously challenging circumstances will seem easier in this new light and more choices will be readily available in difficult times. You will also be the master of your emotional reactions and with clarity you will be able to choose your response instead of feeling hurt, insulted, degraded or enraged. You will think more clearly, brilliantly, quickly and able to take powerful actions that lead to consistent levels of success that were previously unreachable.

In the end, our thoughts feelings and actions are all our choice, which comprise our reality and our perception of reality. Choice is also the mechanism of change. If you don’t like your reality think about changing your beliefs and behavior first. In the least, you will see it in a new light and find choices that were previously unavailable. Next think about what series of choices might lead you down a path to the life you want to create. These choices are out there. If you can’t figure it out on your own, there’s no shame in that. Give me a call and I will help you.

As without, so within…Creating an Attitude of Abundance

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. – Einstein

When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back. – Nietzsche

 

Isn’t it a marvel how life sometimes feels like it is never enough? For instance, how often do we feel totally content with our level of success, love, respect, fame, money and free time that we can truly feel we’ve made it?

I know for myself I can sometimes work hard all day, and yet no matter how much I’ve accomplished it can still feel like I haven’t gotten enough done. The same attitude can even be said for life; when looking back at the many completed projects, high achievements, adoring lovers and fulfilling friendships we’ve had, why can it all sometimes feel lacking?

Will there ever be enough or is scarcity the perpetual attitude of  human existence?  Even when we reach our desired goals and accomplish great things in life are we doomed to feel rushed, discontent, and unfulfilled forever?

Then it hit me- The feeling of “not enough” was how I felt about myself on the inside, and there had to be a direct correlation there, for if I did not believe I was good enough then how would the world be good enough for me in return? Further, if I demanded myself to be perfect all the time, I had much higher expectations of life and the people in it- and that’s why all my successes, rewards, and relationships failed to fulfill me.

Coming from a place of scarcity within ourselves, we project scarcity onto the world and create a reality where there is never enough love, time, success, gratitude and joy. The people in our lives aren’t good enough for us and the great successes we’ve achieved in life remain unsatisfying.  As for myself, feeling life was never enough made me feel stingy, and if I’m feeling stingy I’m certainly not being generous with others- and that my friends is directly how I’m creating scarcity in the world!

What if we reverse it? What if instead we choose to believe we are already perfect and the world is a giving place and everything is as it should be.   In this world, fulfillment and achievement come easy and we are also good enough to achieve anything we want.  Choosing this belief state of mind of abundance rather than scarcity.  This seems like a world I would want to live in,  so why not choose the one that feels best and benefits us the most?

If you are feeling conflict coming up around this proclamation, you are not alone.  There are other limiting beliefs about life intertwined and supported by your belief in scarcity that are feeling threatened right now. You are shaking the foundation of your reality here, and liberation and abundance are inches away….Nice work!

What we project onto the world comes back to us….What comes back to us reflects into us who we are…Whatever we believe ourselves to be we project onto the world. Thus, our reality is the perfect feedback loop between Perception-Attitude-Result…The external reflects the internal and vice versa. What we believe we can achieve we aim for.  You can therefore transform your life gradually by working on either level.  If you don’t like how you feel do something different.  If you don’t like the result you are getting, change your attitude about yourself and/or the world and see what happens!

This is what I call the reciprocal relationship between the internal and external. What we believe ourselves capable of we achieve. What we believe about the world we draw to ourselves. Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Reality, however,  is highly convincing and it is tempting to adopt a negative mentality. However, because the reciprocal relationship exists, so does the power of choice. We always have the choice of whether or not to get down on ourselves or the world for what it’s giving.  However, what if we look at failure or setback as an additional learning opportunity for growth? Takes the sting out of it doesn’t it!  And since perception is therefore always a choice, then why should external results have any impact on how we perceive ourselves at all?  The answer is it shouldn’t!

It is up to us to each maintain responsibility for our own feedback loop. You can and do have a choice to make in every moment of how you perceive yourself and this influences the outcome. Ultimately, reality is a self-fulfilling prophecy. These things take time and we all have many years of subconsciously ingrained thought patterns to work through here. So please be kind, gentle, and allow yourself to gradually unwind,…and for God’s sake get started!

We’ve created these feedback loops over the course of are lives, often when we are younger it is easier to fall victim, make poor belief choices, as we never saw any other way….Part of growing up is realizing this and the fact you have the power to change it now. We can’t blame our younger selves for being so vulnerable, just like we can’t blame our parents, teachers, peers, leaders and anyone else in our lives who pushed their beliefs on us in the past, today! That was is the past and it is only you who is holding onto it in your mind, so why not let go and try something new?

Think about this one:

“I already am everything I am trying to achieve.”

We all have the capacity to feel fulfilled in every moment and to come from a place of abundance. In order to reach this state of mind there are 3 processes to commit to:

1) Find your Life Purpose: connect with your passions, and come from that state of mind in everything you do. Find outlets for it in the world where you can fully express and are fully received. Find as many as you need in the form of careers, projects and hobbies…etc. Align with relationships that support you in this state of being- both personally and professionally. Nurture these, cherish these, appreciate these. Let go of what doesn’t serve you.

2) Open and Embrace everything: Pain is your greatest teacher; Release the past– forgiveness, letting go, saying no– everytime you feel miserable or have a setback this is a gift and learning opportunity. Feel it, embrace it, and let it release. Embrace every belief and thought pattern that arises and delve deeply to find where it comes from. You will need to do this over and over and gradually they will all release. Move towards things that are scary, they will help you grow the most. Move towards honest vulnerable conflict resolution. When you have conflict on the outside, you have conflict within. Let your enemies and arguments be your greatest teachers. If you always move towards repeating pleasure you will get lost in it, and your shadow will make a harsh comeback.  Balance and grounded awareness are key to experiencing pleasure and success on a deeper level while not becoming addicted or avoiding pain.

3) Cultivate a Wholesome Attitude: Love, Gratitude, Abundance, Passion, Joy, Peace, Patience, Perseverence, Service, Cooperation— these are the true currencies of the universe. Spread them generously, wildly, and widely like fire and your life will change externally. If you’re external world looks like this, so will the internal. If your internal looks like this you will easily be in the flow of abundance and able to create external results.  Maintaining a positive attitude even in the face of adversity is the true mark of spiritual accomplishment.  How bright you shine in the down times says everything about your true character.

Sacred Wound

Once upon a time there was a child of God named Baby, and when he was born he separated from God. And when he separated from God, he forgot he was a child of God and a wound formed in his soul like a small hole and that wound was sacred…

And the world was a beautiful place and had many wonderful beautiful things to share with Baby. And at the same time, it was a messed up place and many horrible messed up things happened to Baby in the beautiful messed up world.

And Baby’s parents loved him, but they were messed up too. And they tried to love Baby by filling his hole with only beautiful things. And they tried to protect Baby from all the messed up things- and though they had the best intentions, they had holes too and they sometimes hurt Baby, and that made Baby’s hole feel bigger.

As Baby got older he learned to fill his own hole. And when he went to school, all the teachers were messed up too. And baby learned to fill his hole by playing with the other children, but all the other children had holes just like Baby.  And some of them loved Baby and helped him fill his hole. And some of them were mean to Baby and that made his hole feel bigger.

And that’s how Baby grew up in the beautiful messed up world. All along the way Baby tried to love the messed up people.  And sometimes when he loved them, he hurt them- even when he didn’t mean to…And sometimes when they loved him back they hurt Baby- even when they didn’t mean to. And that made his hole feel even bigger.

And finally when baby became an adult that’s when he realized something was messed up about the beautiful messed up world…and inside of him there was this huge hole he was carrying around his whole life that he was always trying to fill….and that’s when baby decided he must be messed up because he had this huge messed up hole…and that’s when he decided he was just another messed up person in the beautiful messed up world…and that made Baby’s hole feel even bigger.

….So then he looked back on his life searching back in the past for the bottom of the hole- and whatever caused him to be so messed up- so he could finally figure out how to fill it once and for all….

And in his past he found all the angry faces of all the messed up people and that reminded him of all the horrible messed up things that happened to him- so he blamed them. He even blamed his parents when he knew deep down that they had loved him and had tried their best- but they too had hurt Baby without even meaning to- and blaming them made his hole feel even bigger.

…And baby kept on searching for a cause and blaming them all until he felt even worse, and no matter how angry he got he could not change what they had done. And no matter what he still could not find an answer for how to fill this enormous messed up hole….

And sometimes Baby’s hole felt so huge that he felt despondent. And he even blamed God for making the world such a messed up place that it would hurt Baby- and he finally said “Why hath thou forsaken me?” And God having been forgotten all this time gave no response. And that’s when Baby realized he was truly alone and he became very dark.

…And he grew so dark that he began to rage and the rage tore him so deeply that the hole became bottomless, and finally Baby felt so exhausted from trying to fill his bottomless hole that he gave up and fell in….

…And Baby fell so far and fast through that bottomless hole that he was overwhelmed. And along the way he blamed once again all the angry faces of all the messed up people that had hurt him throughout the years. And he was so overwhelmed by despair that he finally surrendered….

…And when he surrendered he saw how he was falling through the past inside the hole and that it had no power over him any more, and that’s the first time Baby felt acceptance…

…And when he fully accepted that he could not change anything about the hole, that’s when baby came out the other side…

And Baby sat on the edge of the hole gazing back at all the faces of all the messed up people that had hurt him, and he finally saw how they were trying to fill their own holes too. And then he looked past all the faces, all the way back to the top of the hole and that’s where he saw the shining eyes of Baby staring back at him…

And then Baby remembered God and how he was once connected to God and that’s how Baby felt his Sacred Wound. And then Baby looked once again at all the beautiful faces of all the messed up people and he said “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” And that’s when Baby felt compassion.

And when Baby fully forgave them he clearly saw himself for the first time and that’s when he realized the hole was a mirror. And when he looked into the mirror he saw a beautiful person no longer messed up anymore, and Baby fully loved himself for the first time. And finally recognizing himself in the mirror he remembered he was a child of God and then Baby felt bliss…

…And what was once a Sacred Wound, had now became a Well of Bliss, and for the first time Baby felt whole.

…And what was once a bottomless hole had now become a mirror, and finally Baby had become fully human.

…And anytime thereafter Baby forgot he was a child of God, he sought out the well inside the hole, and was filled with bliss once again.

And Baby finally decided he was a beautiful person in a beautiful messed up world and that everything was perfect just the way it was. And Baby took his mirror and went forth to show the other beautiful faces how they were beautiful too…

Inspiration is Motivation

Sometimes words like discipline and duty make me sleepy….Trying to force myself to do something I don’t want to do is like trying to push an enormous boulder up an endlessly steep hill….So how can I get myself to do something that I just don’t want to do?  Truthfully, it’s almost impossible and I know many of you feel the same way, and that is why I invented this simple formula that can work for people like us, how we structure our day and that could benefit every level of society.

Lawrence Kohlberg  talked about the difference between Pre-Conventional and Post Conventional morality is his writings.  Though I don’t claim to be an expert on Kohlberg and my comparison is a bit of a stretch, this model is an excellent jumping off point for my discussion around finding motivation.

Pre-Conventional Morality is based on motivations around rewards and punishment .  It is the “carrot on the stick” mentality.  Essentially, we follow certain actions based on the rewards they bring (like making money) or the punishments we avoid (like going to jail).

For those of us “working for the weekend” and staying in that job we hate “just for the money,” it is harder to feel motivated.  Post Conventional Morality on the other hand is another stage of development where the individual makes decisions and actions based on his/her own intuition and high-level reasoning.  In terms of finding motivation, it is as if the actions are driven by a sense of higher good or purpose, and to bring in yet another psychological term, this PCM person resembles a “self-actualized individual.”

The Self-Actualized person is living their life purpose.  They are inspired and fulfilled by the work that they do and they are highly motivated and productive individuals who seem to accomplish great tasks with ease.  They are not concerned with rewards and punishments as their actions are motivated by compassion and the joy of the act itself.  They are natural leaders and easily inspire loyalty and motivation in other people.

We can all live like this and feel like this!….So just what is the secret?

“Inspiration is Motivation.”

And that’s it!  When you are inspired, there is no more inner critic standing over you with a whip, or carrot on the stick keeping you in line.  Inspiration is natural.  It is a power and a sense of connectedness welling up from within, and that is why it is so easy to move boulders when you are living your purpose and feeling inspired.  Work no longer feels like work when you are passionately inspired, and motivation comes quite easily when inspired.  Gone is that eagerness for the weekend because you are in love what you are doing and motivated by the act itself.

This is also why many people take a pay cut to do what they love such as serving a social cause or pursuing their art.  Not that you can’t make money doing such things- that is a limiting belief that I coach people out of every day!  The main point here is that finding your purpose in life and connecting with your personal inspiration in whatever it is you are doing is the utmost important task to feeling motivated consistently.

Sometimes you can even run your entire daily schedule based on inspiration by asking yourself “What task feels most important or inspiring to do right now?”  Prioritization of tasks is an important skill for the entrepreneur and if you can tune into your intuition, you will know what you need to do next today…This is advanced level though, and I can coach you here when you are ready, so don’t be afraid to ask!

Imagine how our world would be run on inspiration!  How at peace everyone would be, and how productive!  This is the world I want to create so I started by creating it for myself and now I seek to help others do the same…

Again, if you want this and you are ready for change, let me know.  And until then remember: find the inspiration and that will get you moving.  I guarantee it!