Unshakeable Self-Confidence – Part 1

Attaining Limitless Confidence

Wouldn’t it be great to embody a feeling of unshakeable self-confidence? Wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful to have a powerful and limitless sense of self that you are capable of anything? If that sounds good to I invite you to join me on this incredible journey of attaining limitless confidence!

At one time or another we have all faced challenging situations that shook us to the core. Some of us, depending on our lot in life, may even face these obstacles on a daily basis. But not one among us is completely immune to stress- and whether we are discussing love life, work life, public speaking engagements, playing sports, or building a small business we all could use some additional accessible self-confidence at some time or another to overcome these various life stressors.

This is multi-part blog series on the nature of confidence. We are going to examine the different types of confidence, their core components, and how they arise and ebb and flow throughout our lives. We are also going to discuss how to attain limitless confidence, how to access confidence when you need it most and how to transform ourselves into highly confident individuals. With this series, I aim in inspire you to become a more confident and authentic person. I also plan to deliver some valuable tools for to continue your journey into confidence and offer any further guidance I can along the way.

Part 1:

Internal vs. External Confidence

First off, confidence is both a natural and learned state of being. There are two basic types: external and internal, and though related, both are uniquely useful and cultivated in a different manner.

Our external confidence is a feeling of confidence based on merit and the results of our actions; external results “prove” we are capable of doing something. Seeing is believing and accomplishing what we set out to do reinforces our internal sense of confidence; that we are capable of doing a specific as well as similar tasks.

Internal confidence is a sort of “inner faith” and sense of knowing that one is powerful, capable and has unique abilities that will help us “figure things out” when faced with uncertainty. This type of confidence exists when one truly knows oneself and is aware of our own authentic needs, values and abilities.

Internal confidence is also our birthright. If you think about it, a baby knows when it is hungry, tired or upset and is not afraid to express itself. This natural alignment with inherent wants and needs is a sort of confidence in itself. Knowing what you want and need is a powerful first step because it brings a sense of clarity and all that comes next is striving to achieve it. If the baby is hungry or tired it demands that need to be met through crying. In this way we are born confident in our ability to know what we need and to ask for it.

Confidence that relies on external proof contains one minor flaw as it requires external validation to exist. If we are constantly relying on external proof to show us we are capable, then we are almost literally putting the cart before the horse and we will never have the power to take action in the face of uncertainty.

On the other end, internal confidence is powerful, adaptable and only limited to the extent that one “self-predicts.” If one has this deep sense of inner faith, one will be much more likely to accomplish tasks in the face of uncertainty. Its weakness if anything is that it is an abstract and undirected form of confidence, and if left unbridled could potentially become reckless and allow us to strive for unrealistic goals.

The merit-based external confidence is also highly useful. Once we have accomplished something or overcome a particular challenge, the result is hard evidence and one feels confident the task can be repeated. This type of confidence can be further applied to similar tasks and obstacles. The manner in which this confidence builds is therefore quite logical. It is almost the equivalent of a job resume where one skill set translates to another and you are interviewing yourself for the job.

The internal confidence has a certain audacity. It is quite bold and despite the uncertainty it supplies you with enough patience and perseverance to complete the job. It is also the confidence of a daredevil or risk-taker. It is quite fierce and powerful and can make us effective in situations involving thinking on your feet, public speaking to strangers, learning new tasks and entering new situations unprepared.

This type of confidence can access a certain spiritual level where one feels faith that the answers will be discovered and the right tools or teachers will just somehow arrive to help us figure it out as we go.

A little of this inner power goes along way and when enslaved by the ego one can become over-confident. The truth of this confidence is greater than ourselves and extends beyond us through faith. Where one believes that one is powerful and that they are the one doing it all by themselves, that is where we get into trouble. This confidence usually arrives as an invitation from the universe rather than a forceful or aggressive confidence that is muscled through by the ego.

This type of confidence arises from the higher self or the core being. It is an authentic birthright that lies inside each of us. Therefore, when confidence is not present it is simply obscured and awaiting rediscovery. The way we “unlearned” confidence was through the trauma we experienced in life and our “upbringing” where we are taught to think and be logical and that we can or cannot and should or should not do certain things. For example, the negative belief that women can’t be scientists and men can’t be nurturing and emotional.

In later entries we are going to talk about how to unwind all this type of trauma and negativity that obscures self-confidence and help you attain powerful, unshakeable and limitless self-confidence which is your birthright. Fortunately, the process is quite simple as it is the same as every other path of self growth where giant leaps forward are made simultaneously in each area of your life!

Reflection Points:

Internal and External Confidence are symbiotic and can reinforce each other. Use the power you feel in one area to enhance the feeling of confidence in areas you feel less confident.

To do so, contemplate and journal on the following ideas:

  1. What have you accomplished in your life that makes you feel proud or confident?
  2. Where are the places you currently struggle with confidence in your life?
  3. In what ways are the current struggles similar to the tasks you had accomplished in the past?
  4. What can you begin doing now to build confidence in those current struggle areas?

 

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7 thoughts on “Unshakeable Self-Confidence – Part 1

  1. Pingback: Idealists in Action » Blog Archive » How to slay your self-doubt

    1. Hello Pat,

      In my opinion, true confidence has an air of humility, whereas false confidence is like arrogance and needs to “be better than” or to put others down. True confidence persists on its own.

      Yours truly,

      Samuel

  2. Charles Whitaker

    Dear Sam,

    I highly resonate with your post about internal self confidence. I just had six month epic travel adventure where i travelled South America on my own; towards the end of the trip I felt this deep calm and power from my inner chest which I can only summarise as a complement as symbiosis of internal and extrenal confidence. I also agree with the humility that I am not better or worse than any man.

    I went back into a job I loved using this power but was shortly fired in the first 3 weeks and then 4 days later damaged my ankle and knee and cant walk . They raise a number of issues and I will take their feedback and assume responsibility for my actions however I have lost that innate ;self confidence’ as a result.

    I feel and know that I will be able to regain this ‘power’ as it was natural and a reflection of who I truly am. Would you have any suggestions as the best way to approach this? It was an incredible feeling and something I would love to regain.

    Many thanks,

    Charlie

    1. Dear Charlie,

      Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like it’s been really beautiful, and also really tough for you lately. Even though I don’t know you, my heart goes out to you and I’m happy to share my thoughts.

      My recommendation is to reflect on the bigger picture. It sounds like you are going through some sort of transformation or growth process right now. Your journey began with an awakening– an expansive spiritual experience where you gained powerful insight into your character- and now you are going through an integration period where the universe has literally “grounded” you- and for better or worse you must embrace it and attempt to integrate that insight into your everyday life.

      It is really hard when we get fired from a job or when our body gets injured and stops working. From another point of view, periods like these can be a wonderful opportunity to reflect on our deeper truths: “What is your true purpose? How much have you been living that lately? What would bring you greater fulfillment in life?”

      If you believe everything happens for a reason or in some sort of higher power, even the toughest moment can be turned into an opportunity.
      I can’t be more specific because I’ve never met you, but from this perspective it sounds like you are on the verge of an important self-discovery and by embracing all parts of this process you will find unshakeable confidence once again.

      Lastly, I recommend spending some time in meditation, prayer, or even journaling- whatever activity is right for your cultural identity that can capture the essence of that powerful transformation which began during your travels.

      Please take good care of yourself and keep us posted on how it goes.

      Respectfully yours,

      Samuel

    1. Hi Pat,

      I would imagine at first it is possible to confuse Narcissism with internal confidence, but over the long run Narcissism appears is more of a shallow veneer while internal confidence arises from a place much deeper. Confidence does not need approval or reinforcement from the outside, whereas Narcissism often feeds off approval from others, or worse the false feeling of superiority gained from putting somebody else down. Confidence knows it is worthy and capable while Narcissism serves to conceal the hurt and insecurity inside still waiting to be resolved. Someone with narcissism may yearn to be loved, whereas someone with confidence is already full of self-love.

      Best wishes,

      Samuel

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