Unshakeable Self-Confidence – Part 1

Attaining Limitless Confidence

Wouldn’t it be great to embody a feeling of unshakeable self-confidence? Wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful to have a powerful and limitless sense of self that you are capable of anything? If that sounds good to I invite you to join me on this incredible journey of attaining limitless confidence!

At one time or another we have all faced challenging situations that shook us to the core. Some of us, depending on our lot in life, may even face these obstacles on a daily basis. But not one among us is completely immune to stress- and whether we are discussing love life, work life, public speaking engagements, playing sports, or building a small business we all could use some additional accessible self-confidence at some time or another to overcome these various life stressors.

This is multi-part blog series on the nature of confidence. We are going to examine the different types of confidence, their core components, and how they arise and ebb and flow throughout our lives. We are also going to discuss how to attain limitless confidence, how to access confidence when you need it most and how to transform ourselves into highly confident individuals. With this series, I aim in inspire you to become a more confident and authentic person. I also plan to deliver some valuable tools for to continue your journey into confidence and offer any further guidance I can along the way.

Part 1:

Internal vs. External Confidence

First off, confidence is both a natural and learned state of being. There are two basic types: external and internal, and though related, both are uniquely useful and cultivated in a different manner.

Our external confidence is a feeling of confidence based on merit and the results of our actions; external results “prove” we are capable of doing something. Seeing is believing and accomplishing what we set out to do reinforces our internal sense of confidence; that we are capable of doing a specific as well as similar tasks.

Internal confidence is a sort of “inner faith” and sense of knowing that one is powerful, capable and has unique abilities that will help us “figure things out” when faced with uncertainty. This type of confidence exists when one truly knows oneself and is aware of our own authentic needs, values and abilities.

Internal confidence is also our birthright. If you think about it, a baby knows when it is hungry, tired or upset and is not afraid to express itself. This natural alignment with inherent wants and needs is a sort of confidence in itself. Knowing what you want and need is a powerful first step because it brings a sense of clarity and all that comes next is striving to achieve it. If the baby is hungry or tired it demands that need to be met through crying. In this way we are born confident in our ability to know what we need and to ask for it.

Confidence that relies on external proof contains one minor flaw as it requires external validation to exist. If we are constantly relying on external proof to show us we are capable, then we are almost literally putting the cart before the horse and we will never have the power to take action in the face of uncertainty.

On the other end, internal confidence is powerful, adaptable and only limited to the extent that one “self-predicts.” If one has this deep sense of inner faith, one will be much more likely to accomplish tasks in the face of uncertainty. Its weakness if anything is that it is an abstract and undirected form of confidence, and if left unbridled could potentially become reckless and allow us to strive for unrealistic goals.

The merit-based external confidence is also highly useful. Once we have accomplished something or overcome a particular challenge, the result is hard evidence and one feels confident the task can be repeated. This type of confidence can be further applied to similar tasks and obstacles. The manner in which this confidence builds is therefore quite logical. It is almost the equivalent of a job resume where one skill set translates to another and you are interviewing yourself for the job.

The internal confidence has a certain audacity. It is quite bold and despite the uncertainty it supplies you with enough patience and perseverance to complete the job. It is also the confidence of a daredevil or risk-taker. It is quite fierce and powerful and can make us effective in situations involving thinking on your feet, public speaking to strangers, learning new tasks and entering new situations unprepared.

This type of confidence can access a certain spiritual level where one feels faith that the answers will be discovered and the right tools or teachers will just somehow arrive to help us figure it out as we go.

A little of this inner power goes along way and when enslaved by the ego one can become over-confident. The truth of this confidence is greater than ourselves and extends beyond us through faith. Where one believes that one is powerful and that they are the one doing it all by themselves, that is where we get into trouble. This confidence usually arrives as an invitation from the universe rather than a forceful or aggressive confidence that is muscled through by the ego.

This type of confidence arises from the higher self or the core being. It is an authentic birthright that lies inside each of us. Therefore, when confidence is not present it is simply obscured and awaiting rediscovery. The way we “unlearned” confidence was through the trauma we experienced in life and our “upbringing” where we are taught to think and be logical and that we can or cannot and should or should not do certain things. For example, the negative belief that women can’t be scientists and men can’t be nurturing and emotional.

In later entries we are going to talk about how to unwind all this type of trauma and negativity that obscures self-confidence and help you attain powerful, unshakeable and limitless self-confidence which is your birthright. Fortunately, the process is quite simple as it is the same as every other path of self growth where giant leaps forward are made simultaneously in each area of your life!

Reflection Points:

Internal and External Confidence are symbiotic and can reinforce each other. Use the power you feel in one area to enhance the feeling of confidence in areas you feel less confident.

To do so, contemplate and journal on the following ideas:

  1. What have you accomplished in your life that makes you feel proud or confident?
  2. Where are the places you currently struggle with confidence in your life?
  3. In what ways are the current struggles similar to the tasks you had accomplished in the past?
  4. What can you begin doing now to build confidence in those current struggle areas?

 

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About samuelcollier

Samuel Collier is the Authentic Coach helping people maximize their relationship potential. He coaches clients who want change or need to cope with change in their personal and professional relationships. Relating well with others is paramount to our personal success and happiness. Whether you want to enhance communication or leadership skills, transform a high-conflict office environment, improve your love life or reconcile differences with a colleague or relative, relationship coaching can help you develop the necessary skills, strategy and confidence to bring out your best self in any social situation. He can be reached at samuelbcollier@gmail.com

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  1. Idealists in Action » Blog Archive » How to slay your self-doubt - December 4, 2013

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